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"The affair helped me find myself and proved to me that I could live a life independent of my husband. Twenty-five years later, I'm married to a wonderful man.We love making each other happy, and never try to change who the other person is," she says.However, when I hear stories about disappointment, frustration, and insecurity about dates that haven’t worked out, there is a recurring theme: Do you know what this also means?– They were too far along in investment and illusions to have their feet in reality enough to be working out whether this person was someone that they actually should be with.I’ve been emphasising something over the past few months that I feel it’s time to revisit: Dating is a discovery phase.Use the period from when you meet whether it starts out online or in the ‘real world’ as an opportunity for you both to discover the ‘facts’ about one another and assimilate whether you want to progress…or opt out.

You want a guy to want to be around you and not abandon you – Go out with a jerk and you’ll feel abandoned.

Maybe this is what scares me about some of the stories I hear – I know that dating can be tough, especially if you’re doing it online.

I have a mother, friends, family, and of course many readers who are dating.

You want a guy to love and cherish you – Go out with a jerk and you’ll feel unloved and uncherished, which makes you feel not good enough.

It all comes down to self-love and if we had a lot more of it and dealt with the negative hangovers that many of us seem to be afflicted with, a lot of these assclowns wouldn’t stand a chance.

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